LOG TIMESTAMP: 20251115 14:45 PST AUTHOR: Roz’berry Bioluminescence Natasherd Clover Way LOG SUBJECT: Opening analysis of potential hosts // when i asked if anybody reads these barton laughed so i’m going to take what we in the biz call a “conversational tone” So, apparently I’m the “West” member of the Ontonauts. Temporary, hidden, and based on analysis of the people. I’m supposed to look on both sides of the ambinarrative, because the target could be mimicking anyone on either side. I’ll be brief, because that’s a lot of fucking people -- and some of them are even ambinarratively entangled themselves. Good thing we have Ellie, I guess? Still feels fucking weird to be side-by-side with my own author, but we take what we can get. I’d sort of assumed I’d be given some kind of database to start, so I could, like, populate some Wikipedia articles or something, but they just told me to write these logs and they’d code some shit on the fly. So I guess the robot really is just useless. I’ll try to make it easy on my future self and be cumulative with this information, so get used to seeing the stuff you’re gonna see here -- because I’m definitely doubling back to do it again. Here’s hoping we find the target before I have to write another one of these, actually. Wouldn’t that be nice? |
[ SIDE Z: IMMATERIA ] | ||
“The Closer” ORIGIN: EyeDol Games? There’s multiple versions of the Closer, supposedly, which makes our job so much fucking harder -- because we’re supposed to be looking for out-of-character behavior and “slightly off” versions of these assholes. Just another gift from the universe to me. The Closer seems like the business type (coffee is for Closers) and apparently did some wild shit in the name of spreading “Zampanio” as much as it did. While I don’t plan to delve much into Zampanio itself, because I know a fucking trap when I see one, I’m interested in how she was able to spread this idea so effectively. And what about her coworkers? Active mysteries: Supposedly, she’s voiced somewhere. Where? It’d really help to hear what she sounds like -- the target cannot mimic voices. | “Truth” ORIGIN: Kind Of Everywhere The red text. NotASpiral. Something that talks to us whenever we pop open the inspection windows on the interface we’re using, and something that thinks acknowledging they’re fakey fake narrative bullshit will make them the smartest entity around. Obsessed with spreading Zampanio, which begs the question of a connection with The Closer. Also runs a bathroom maze with their girlfriend, who’s a whole can of worms. I think we’ve seen all of it? Maybe? Active mysteries: Is it possible to trace the origin of Truth? How’d they meet Alt, anyway? | “Alt” ORIGIN: ???? A fucking mimic. I hate it here. I hate it here. We’re chasing a psychic mimic, and here we are dealing with another mimic who’s both a prankster and a flirt. And one that’s somehow really put the charm on Truth, despite the fact that she’s scooping people out of the maze to make them click on meat for a really long time before they realize they’ve already seen every type of room. Blah, blah, blah. There’s a story with “the truth about her” and how she shapeshifted into the maze-form she takes sometimes. What I’m wondering, though… Active mysteries: Where else is she? Is it possible to stumble across her in more spots? How can I tell when she’s mimicking JR? |
“Parker” ORIGIN: That One LobCorp Team A scaredy cat with a gun who really likes Hatsune Miku and seems to be traveling between worlds, like us. I’d write Parker off as utterly insignificant if not for the fact that the target definitely is going to want to use all those traits against us. Keeping an eye on this one. | “The Eye Killer” ORIGIN: ??? Maybe the same killer hired by the Closer? Was a cultist at some point, and now she hunts cultists instead… well, one version of her does, and another’s still a cultist. What I wanna know is: Active mysteries: Where’s the cult? (And its leader.) | “NotAMinotaur” ORIGIN: Homestuck Or Discord Or Something An old roleplay character that turned into a Discord bot spreading philosophical this-and-that. Active mysteries: If NAM’s a different entity from the Minotaur from that one magazine cover, who is that? Why the specific denial, too? |
[ SIDE E: MATERIA] | ||
“JR” / jadedResearcher AMBINARRATIVELY ENTANGLED The author. The eyes. We keep finding communications from them in databases. They’re watching us. They’re probably reading this right now (hi). They also, importantly, have attics. I cannot fucking find the page that said that they have attics but I know they have attics. One time they cut me off in the middle of a ZampanioSim text adventure and I don’t remember which one or why or what they said. Where are the attics? How do I get there? How did someone find one in the North? And where is that fucking hint page?? | Puppeteer of the Lost Writes their own story. Has a funny habit of changing descriptions of themselves for fun, albeit in temporary ways. | Void Caller of Spores Also a fucking awesome name. Hangs out with Ellie a lot, and she’s a big fan of the spores. Personally I don’t get it but maybe that’s just a meat thing? Seems to have an ongoing feud or rivalry or kismesis or something with Solder, and the two are always bickering over things like spores and bickering. Accidentally set in motion a series of events one time. |
Medium^2 of Spiders You can get a squared title?? Huh. Anyway, this one’s some kind of ghost that haunts the server, eternally sentence-mixing everyone else’s messages. Sent a bunch of blank spaces one time so we’d be able to communicate. Mostly here because communicating through sentence-mixing makes you trivially easy to mimic, meaning I’m sure the target’s going to consider you a high-priority host. | crimsonDestroyer Marked, which is interesting, because so few Marked are still around. Has created a lot of universes and a lot of characters, which means a lot of names, which means a buffet for the target. Also really into rhythm games. | Anon of Corruption The reason I’m here. Encouraging. … A friend, even. With a name like that, though… Ha. No. I’m not stupid. Yeah, we can create for Zampanio. Wow, yippee, let’s feed the entity. Yeah, right. All of my creations are specifically tailored to finding the fucking target. Zampanio is a meaningless distraction and I don’t give a shit if you play it. |